Mostly Harmless, Still Online
Earth, a small blue-green planet best known for inventing both streaming platforms and existential dread in roughly the same decade, had recently achieved a new evolutionary milestone. It had become entirely incapable of distinguishing between reality and a well-edited short video.
This was considered progress.
Humans, the dominant species (a conclusion reached after a rigorous process of asking themselves), had developed an extraordinary ability to compress all known knowledge into formats under 30 seconds, while simultaneously extending arguments indefinitely.
No one was entirely sure how this worked, but it appeared to be powered by a combination of caffeine, indignation, and Wi-Fi.
At the center of this bustling digital ecosystem was a figure of considerable volume, velocity, and variance: Donald J. Trump, recently reclassified by the Guide as a Zapped Beeble.
He did not so much participate in reality as continually renegotiate it.
This made him extremely popular.
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